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Managing Expectations

I was watching a show on a streaming service about people with rare medical conditions and their desperation to find diagnoses and treatment. One episode featured a mother with a little girl around five or six years old. The mother was in distress because the little girl was diagnosed with a rare medical condition causing uncontrollable seizures. The child had hundreds of seizures daily halting any resemblance of normal life for someone her age. The only known treatment was to have a brain surgery resulting in the child most likely being unable to walk or talk for the rest of her life. The distressed mother was seeking alternative treatment. Every day the child went without surgery was a day closer to when it would ultimately lead to death or paralysis through seizure alone. Watching this show, my heart went out to the family and the child. In one of the interviews, the mother was asked about why she was hesitant on the surgery. The mother said, “How do you change your expectations of life?” The mother was struggling because all of the things she considered normal milestones for any person would most likely not be a milestone at all for her child if she had the surgery.

I latched on to this idea of expectations because we all have them. We have things we consider “normal.” If anything, living through the year 2020 demonstrated, normal is different than the expectations we have. Do you hold on to the hope and dream or move on to another dream? Can things be the same or different? Can different be better than what you originally had hoped?

In workforce development and other social programs, we hear and observe people’s expectations daily and have daily challenges managing them. Many people were raised with expectations of work that are no longer true. One example is the idea of getting a job out of high school and working with the same employer until you receive a gold watch at retirement. We now know this is not the case any longer. Another expectation is surrounding professional growth. The employer is responsible for my growth and development. This is another expectation no longer met by the current workforce. In the modern world we now understand we are responsible for our future, our growth, and our development.  In order to say current, we need to attend education and training, even when not sponsored by our employer. We are aware we will no longer work until it is time for the gold watch. In thinking about how the world has changed since Covid-19, there are occupations that may no longer exist. After years of study in college, a person may graduate to find that career is not an option any longer. There are probably other expectations about work out there. Are those expectations helping or hindering the success of individuals?

Daily life comes with expectations. How we shop, visit with family, vacation, eat, live, learn, etc. is an expectation that has been created by culture of our families and society. Now things are different. There are signs everywhere right now telling me the new procedure for having routine appointments, if a mask is needed, and what needs to be done ahead of time. Part of the change to the “new normal” has been adjusting what you expect from things like going to a restaurant or shopping in a store.  Most people have adapted based on necessity and not through the desire to start wearing masks and being socially distant from friends and family. There is acceptance of this Covid life.

For those too fighting for a dream that no longer exists, or a job that is no longer, the first step is acceptance or acknowledgement. From there the hard work can happen and the truth can be realized. If you are wondering what happened on the show with the little girl, I can report she received a new alternative treatment for her diagnosis at a New York hospital known for working with brain disorders. The little girl had surgery to implant a device to help control the seizures without having the drastic life altering brain surgery. Ultimately, only time will tell how successful this surgery will be and what expectations of normal life can be met. As for the world we live with expectations for life and work, sometimes we need a little alternative management also.

~Karen Cirincione

Email: kcirincione@gmail.com        

Linked In: www.linkedin.com/in/karenjcirincione

Twitter: @kcirincione 

 

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